Confidence doesn’t equal Arrogance!

Lately, a lot of my time has been spent talking to clients, friends, family, and colleagues about confidence. Why do some people have a lot of it while others have so little, or none at all? How do we cultivate confidence?  

Last week, I got a masterclass in confidence while attending my nephew’s sixth-grade graduation at the Rio Grande School in Santa Fe. During the ceremony, we were treated to short videos lovingly and thoughtfully created by their teachers highlighting the unique personality, interests, and achievements of each student. Then, the graduates spoke about their elementary school experience. They were poised, eloquent, funny, and also surprisingly honest about the difficulties they had faced and also their fears in leaving their very close-knit and supportive community. They were able to stand on that stage and own who they are because of their confidence. How old were you when your self-confidence began to manifest?

There is arguably no single woman in my lifetime who has committed as much of her life to social change and personal empowerment than the gloriously UNSTOPPABLE Gloria Steinem. Today, at eighty-nine years old, Gloria continues to inspire multiple generations to embrace their collective power and make their voices heard. She is a stunning example of a life led with passion and purpose. And while she has never held a public office, her tireless work as the co-founder of the National Women’s Political Caucus,  Ms. Magazine, the Coalition of Labor Union Women, Voters for Choice, Women Against Pornography, and the Women’s Media Center has changed lives and inspired political activism across the world through social consciousness and reform. 

I challenge you to watch the new Netflix Series “Live to Lead” profile on Gloria and not be moved by her enduring, UnStoppable leadership. Her brilliant, articulate insights and succinct pearls of wisdom have had an immeasurable impact on my life, and I hope yours as well. 

Here are a few of my favorites that reveal her UNSTOPPABLE spirit. 

“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on combining marriage and a career.”

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”

Every day Unstoppables walk amongst us. Is there someone in your life who is UNSTOPPABLE? EMAIL ME with yours and I will feature them in an upcoming newsletter.

Too often we find it difficult to acknowledge and confidently share (aka brag) the light we bring to the world. 

This month I am launching my new women’s program where we will identify and celebrate all that you bring to your professional and personal relationships.

Learn More >

Part of creating UNSTOPPABLE involved interviewing many women, ranging in age from twenty to one hundred. I asked them  ‘What would you do differently as your younger self?’  

To my surprise, they all had the exact same answer, “I wish I had more confidence.”

We all have moments where we lack confidence, creating in varying degrees Imposter Syndrome, chronic perfectionism, and an inability to set boundaries, confront, speak up, and successfully take risks. 

REFRAME IT:

Building and maintaining confidence is a constant practice. It needs to be done on a daily basis. Like any other practice, it builds on itself and it becomes easier like meditation, exercise, or yoga.

To start building your confidence, ask yourself the following questions: 

Where and how do you exude confidence?

Where and how do you lose confidence?

Is there a payoff for not being confident, for playing small, for not being UNSTOPPABLE? 

Here are a few things you can do to exude confidence in any situation: