Visibility Matters. But So Does Intention.
When my book, BRAG! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It, came out in 2003, social networking was just beginning.
In 2005, only 5% of American adults used social media. Today, there are approximately 5.8 billion social-media users worldwide—roughly seven out of every ten people on Earth. And that number grew by nearly 300 million in the past year alone.
That’s an astonishing cultural shift in just over two decades.
Social media didn’t invent self-promotion. But it certainly blew open the doors.
Don’t get me wrong: I still believe visibility matters.
In your career, people need to know the value you bring, what you’re accomplishing, and what you aspire to do. I also love hearing what’s happening in people’s lives—the adventures, milestones, funny stories, and proud parent or grandparent moments.
But somewhere along the way, I think we crossed a line.
Sharing has become performing.
Connection has become competition.
Contribution has given way to grabbing attention.
I’ll admit it: I’ve never understood our fascination with documenting ourselves so often—and in such excruciating detail.
The more time we spend documenting our lives, the less present we are for actually living them. The camera can pull us right out of the experience we’re trying so hard to capture.
That’s exactly what came to mind recently in the women’s restroom at LAX, where one woman turned the only mirror into her personal photo studio. For several minutes, the rest of us waited while she posed, photographed, and posted.
Attention Isn’t the Same as Influence
And that’s when it struck me: the problem isn’t just what we’re doing with our cameras. It’s how we’re showing up with one another.
We turn too many conversations back to ourselves.
We listen for our opening instead of really listening.
We mistake being noticed for making a difference.
We confuse attention with influence—and visibility with value.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be seen.
But once people have seen you, what have you given them?
Before you speak, post, share—or toot your own horn—ask yourself:
- Why am I sharing this?
- What value am I adding?
- Am I connecting—or simply collecting attention?
Your voice matters.
But knowing when to use it, why you’re using it, and when to make room for someone else’s—that’s how you BRAG! without blowing it.
Want more Workplace Wisdom? Get Peggy’s TIPS & QUIPS direct to your inbox.
